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I've been working remotely in the background to mature the concepts behind my comic projects, the bare bone of it. I was initially thinking of "just draw as you go", because stories and ideas can develop during the process, while providing drawing practices at the same time. 

However too many ideals and principles roamed incomplete in my head, and I became more preoccupied solidifying all these concepts and incorporating it to my story telling afterwards. 
I was too impatient to let these ideals simply "slip" into my work; their otherwise subtle appearance would have seemed insufficient to me.

It does not and would not do justice for the amount of spiritual investment I commit to these concepts to fully grasp them and perfect their tangibility. They need to be outside of my head. 
 
Beginning from this year's January I began streaming down what my mind seems to constantly occupy itself over. First written in incomplete modes of expression and immediate interpretations, then to incubate in my mind and reiterate itself into a more comprehensible form. I just wrote down everything, from my internal preoccupations to comic story lines, regardless of repetitiveness, poor chronological order, poor wording, inconsistent expressions, cheesiness, etc.. I tried my best not to force myself to complete them, for many inspirations and enlightenment are to constantly flow in from life and other people. 

In fact, I am slightly reluctant to re-read all my writings because free mind can be pretty stupid and corny as hell, but at this point I am confident that my maturing progress of my contents may be otherwise encouraging. 

All this time I've been hesitant of bringing forth all these plans, ideas, and concepts, because I felt they were not yet ready. They felt like jumbled wires; incredibly unsightly and confusing. My characters felt like hollow pencil lines, with ill-fully conveyed inspirations, shoddy story lines and forced characteristics; obvious knock offs of their inspired role models and just plain flat; characters & ideals alike poorly integrated into the big picture. What was even the big picture? This is all obviously an exaggerated concern of my work, but a hindering factor to my production nonetheless.

Most of the time, I kept asking the purpose of a certain character or the big picture of the story, because I felt there was none, simply existing to fill in some form of "creativity quota" or "diversity quota". 
When I see other ideals and concepts being displayed in other works, I question, 'should I focus on that concept too?', 'am I covering enough significant topics?' 'will my work actually put forth any value?', 'am I missing something?'

Now the realistic response to any of this is 'why does it matter?', and mostly 'who cares?'. This project only pertains to me, it's not a service to the world. Drawings are drawings, why so much fuss? 
Things are born incomplete and polished over time; there is no shame in producing inadequate, formless material. 

I came to realize that the answer to all these concerns was and is not "yeah it shouldn't matter", because it does matter, only thing was that this whole ordeal had nothing to with art. It had nothing to do with "incomplete characters", "unfinished art style", "can't draw landscapes" or just plain frustration of comic panel looking like crap. It all rooted down my frustrated preoccupation of all these ideas and concepts that I wanted to thoroughly convey and structure in my head. It was not that I could not define the concepts for my comic project, it was that I could not solidifies concepts in general that I wanted to incorporate via comic project. 

When I draw my character or a practice of landscape, the mother of all frustration was not from the inconsistent facial features, the erase marks, nor their poor composition. 
It was the reminder in the back of my head, demanding attention to just please address that jumble of thoughts. And I have to sheepishly answer that no, I don't know how to untangle them. I don't even know what's tangled in there, I'm discouraged to know. 

A "just do it" didn't help, have you tried pulling hard on the jumbled cluster of wires? It's a total cluster fuck that defies all laws of physics. The source of a knot or pulling friction is impossible to locate when there's million other blockages in the vision. The sheer weight of the cluster creates further difficulty and unintentional knots. And heaven forbid one stays sane by trying to untangle it by wire by wire, only to eventually lose track of it because of its goddamn length. 

But unlike the literal bastard of a wire cluster, the mind itself unravels over time, I guess that's the entire purpose of "stream diary". Granted, it is a very slow process, but allowing the mind to naturally relieve itself from time to time seemed to have provided a bit more clarity to me. I believe in occasion I still unintentionally yank at the cluster out of frustration, worry, and even a wrongfully-guided attempt to fix. I have yet to completely determine the nature of what caused this mental tangling, but at least it feels less overwhelming now. 

Also, I think I have found a decently tangible track to take from here. So with the progress I have made so far, and at the level of confidence I feel with my concepts, I will begin a proper roll with my comic project. I am going to start this by laying out very specific concepts that I have and am exploring. This will provide me some visual maps of focus and also some relief from my mind; relieve the pressurizing steam from an uncoordinated turmoil that would otherwise affect performance, so that the system can work in a normalized setting yet again. This is the best method I have come up with so far, it makes the most sense to me. I hope that this will carry through as I hope. 

When I am on a stable roll with this, I really need to work on keeping journals short. Too much stuff going through and reiterating inside my head constantly.I am literally losing sleep over this, so much for sleeping early today. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, and perhaps this "relief" of thoughts and intentions that I put out here today will help me achieve restful slumber. 

I am expecting to post a lot of conceptual things from this point on, maybe proper glimpse of what my project is supposed to be. Trying not to sound too excited about this so that I can reserve the energy for a more long term use. So for those who's been keeping up with me, thank you! 

Good night 
Indo Goddess by EmptyShadow
Indo Goddess
There is too much concern involved in perfection of display, expression and quality of drawing OCs that lately I cannot really draw them. 
There is too much restriction in the environment, theme, implications that I can draw around the OCs, for it may violate their characters. 

While my project as a whole greatly revolve around my beliefs, principals and values, my OCs themselves are no longer a direct display or projection of my own feelings and my ideals, therefore I have to respect them as separate creations. This creates a lot of subconscious pressure, even though I tell myself what they used to be and what they can still be. I have plans for their development, the process has gone pretty serious and deep, that I can't get myself to really fool around with it. 

At this state it kind of sucks because my project is currently not on a direct roll but the characters are surely following along with it. They are slowly fading into a realm that makes it harder for me to draw freely.
And to be frank, I have yet to draw legitimately serious looking drawings yet, so my doodles of attempts look like adolescences, limbs growing out of proportion and zit ridden face too damn funny to take seriously. 
So with the previous and latter parts combined together, I am stuck in a very uncomfortable state with a hormonal, teenager personification of my current abilities; can't take my own works seriously and my work feels left out otherwise.

Perhaps this is a common state? Maybe if I come past through this, it might provide a nice accomplishment and definitely something worthwhile to reflect on. 

So this is one of my very few somewhat successful doodles that came naturally; no expectation whatsoever and OCs not under risk (in case drawn hideously). It came out interesting.

I work with a lot of Indian coworkers and I have dabbled into Indian culture just very slightly, not only because of peer influence but because of my interests in Yoga practices and Buddhism as well. 
I can't say I am interested in Indian culture as a whole nor even that fond of it, but for philosophies and practices deeply incorporated in Yoga and Buddhism to have emerged in this culture at all, gives me even a bit to look into. 

Also I love Indian food. Can't get enough of their delectable cuisines, and the diversity of food within just one country. It's also rather comical how ridiculous the diversity of language and dialect is. 

So this doodle was inspired by whatever I can remember or recall about visual aspects of India. Small details, multitudes of arms and Sari....I don't even mean to be culturally or politically correct about this picture. I have yet to grasp the general features used in Indian paintings and designs, but I like the general feel of it when incorporated into a more modern style illustration.

This ended up more text than the drawing itself, I think I spent more time typing than drawing. Actually as I was drawing this character and then later reading blogs and commenting on them, I kept thinking of speaking in the calm, wise voice of the goddess. Thoughts organized themselves so quickly and rolled so well into words of full expression. Formation of sentences felt clean and purposeful (at least for me, not sure about you guys) and I felt all words I type, the additional lines I draw, felt like a very energetic creation, just as everything spoken and created by the goddess is disperse of internal light and wisdom.

It is totally possible that normally around this night time my thought processes are more efficient. Perhaps the satisfaction of this natural drawing gave me extra energy as well. 

The essence of this drawing certainly served its purpose. Unfortunately, I must sleep now, before I keep rambling over to the next adjacent topic that I can think of. Hopefully I will be able to use this momentum for just a little longer.

Not much post processing on this picture, so the drawing might be difficult to interpret. If you can figure out where her shoulder is, you deserve a cookie. 

Character & Artwork © EmptyShadow 
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Such a bum that drawing feels more like a grudge than leisure.

Winter is approaching, hence the shorter days, and I've been regularly exercising which makes me cozily pooped by the time I get home and eat food. 
I suppose on a positive note I am still utilizing my free time somewhat, the tiredness feels more justified.

But even connecting a tablet and opening photoshop feels like labor >.> 

On a more positive note, I finally got a scanner. Now I have more options of drawing and posting. Only hopefully on the latter part. 

I am only back on DA shortly right now, so I will be addressing messages later. Just letting you know because I rather do this than give halfass response lol 
Lost something? by EmptyShadow
Lost something?
Meow

Hmmm figured out some interesting coloring method while I was just screwing around with this. Time for bed now.

Sorry guys for posting pics but not really being responsive otherwise. Will see how it goes over the weekend. Can't seem to be active in more than one areas at the moment. 

Drawing looks so much cooler when it's in thumbnails, bummer. 

Puppet Kai & Artwork © EmptyShadow 
Loading...
Spinning
The last time I changed my avatar was 2006, 8 years ago. Much like life itself, I must constantly change.
I've been contemplating about a new avatar for a while, but never really got to it. Got too concerned about how cool and what kind of impact and impression the avatar must leave, because that's what people will see. 

Then a few weeks ago I was out just doodling in a nice patio with warm shining down, I couldn't think of anything to draw so I doodled this. Then I thought it'd be a good idea to make it an animation.
And really, why not. I like budgies and I like to be silly. I don't have to make my avatar necessarily equivalent to the type of work I post, right? 

I must bid farewell to my puppet friend, who's been licking my avatar space for the past 8 years. Perhaps I will bring it back again, in the future. 
I am bored and I'd like to bring some change.

So....TADA
 
That red crap on the corner is just my watermark. Kind of like red stamp I guess.

This was actually harder to animate than it looks. Animated with Adobe Flash

Artwork © EmptyShadow 
Loading...
I've been working remotely in the background to mature the concepts behind my comic projects, the bare bone of it. I was initially thinking of "just draw as you go", because stories and ideas can develop during the process, while providing drawing practices at the same time. 

However too many ideals and principles roamed incomplete in my head, and I became more preoccupied solidifying all these concepts and incorporating it to my story telling afterwards. 
I was too impatient to let these ideals simply "slip" into my work; their otherwise subtle appearance would have seemed insufficient to me.

It does not and would not do justice for the amount of spiritual investment I commit to these concepts to fully grasp them and perfect their tangibility. They need to be outside of my head. 
 
Beginning from this year's January I began streaming down what my mind seems to constantly occupy itself over. First written in incomplete modes of expression and immediate interpretations, then to incubate in my mind and reiterate itself into a more comprehensible form. I just wrote down everything, from my internal preoccupations to comic story lines, regardless of repetitiveness, poor chronological order, poor wording, inconsistent expressions, cheesiness, etc.. I tried my best not to force myself to complete them, for many inspirations and enlightenment are to constantly flow in from life and other people. 

In fact, I am slightly reluctant to re-read all my writings because free mind can be pretty stupid and corny as hell, but at this point I am confident that my maturing progress of my contents may be otherwise encouraging. 

All this time I've been hesitant of bringing forth all these plans, ideas, and concepts, because I felt they were not yet ready. They felt like jumbled wires; incredibly unsightly and confusing. My characters felt like hollow pencil lines, with ill-fully conveyed inspirations, shoddy story lines and forced characteristics; obvious knock offs of their inspired role models and just plain flat; characters & ideals alike poorly integrated into the big picture. What was even the big picture? This is all obviously an exaggerated concern of my work, but a hindering factor to my production nonetheless.

Most of the time, I kept asking the purpose of a certain character or the big picture of the story, because I felt there was none, simply existing to fill in some form of "creativity quota" or "diversity quota". 
When I see other ideals and concepts being displayed in other works, I question, 'should I focus on that concept too?', 'am I covering enough significant topics?' 'will my work actually put forth any value?', 'am I missing something?'

Now the realistic response to any of this is 'why does it matter?', and mostly 'who cares?'. This project only pertains to me, it's not a service to the world. Drawings are drawings, why so much fuss? 
Things are born incomplete and polished over time; there is no shame in producing inadequate, formless material. 

I came to realize that the answer to all these concerns was and is not "yeah it shouldn't matter", because it does matter, only thing was that this whole ordeal had nothing to with art. It had nothing to do with "incomplete characters", "unfinished art style", "can't draw landscapes" or just plain frustration of comic panel looking like crap. It all rooted down my frustrated preoccupation of all these ideas and concepts that I wanted to thoroughly convey and structure in my head. It was not that I could not define the concepts for my comic project, it was that I could not solidifies concepts in general that I wanted to incorporate via comic project. 

When I draw my character or a practice of landscape, the mother of all frustration was not from the inconsistent facial features, the erase marks, nor their poor composition. 
It was the reminder in the back of my head, demanding attention to just please address that jumble of thoughts. And I have to sheepishly answer that no, I don't know how to untangle them. I don't even know what's tangled in there, I'm discouraged to know. 

A "just do it" didn't help, have you tried pulling hard on the jumbled cluster of wires? It's a total cluster fuck that defies all laws of physics. The source of a knot or pulling friction is impossible to locate when there's million other blockages in the vision. The sheer weight of the cluster creates further difficulty and unintentional knots. And heaven forbid one stays sane by trying to untangle it by wire by wire, only to eventually lose track of it because of its goddamn length. 

But unlike the literal bastard of a wire cluster, the mind itself unravels over time, I guess that's the entire purpose of "stream diary". Granted, it is a very slow process, but allowing the mind to naturally relieve itself from time to time seemed to have provided a bit more clarity to me. I believe in occasion I still unintentionally yank at the cluster out of frustration, worry, and even a wrongfully-guided attempt to fix. I have yet to completely determine the nature of what caused this mental tangling, but at least it feels less overwhelming now. 

Also, I think I have found a decently tangible track to take from here. So with the progress I have made so far, and at the level of confidence I feel with my concepts, I will begin a proper roll with my comic project. I am going to start this by laying out very specific concepts that I have and am exploring. This will provide me some visual maps of focus and also some relief from my mind; relieve the pressurizing steam from an uncoordinated turmoil that would otherwise affect performance, so that the system can work in a normalized setting yet again. This is the best method I have come up with so far, it makes the most sense to me. I hope that this will carry through as I hope. 

When I am on a stable roll with this, I really need to work on keeping journals short. Too much stuff going through and reiterating inside my head constantly.I am literally losing sleep over this, so much for sleeping early today. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, and perhaps this "relief" of thoughts and intentions that I put out here today will help me achieve restful slumber. 

I am expecting to post a lot of conceptual things from this point on, maybe proper glimpse of what my project is supposed to be. Trying not to sound too excited about this so that I can reserve the energy for a more long term use. So for those who's been keeping up with me, thank you! 

Good night 

deviantID

EmptyShadow
psycho keeper
Artist
United States
I like birds

My Tumblr: paransaeya.tumblr.com
Commission Page: emptyshadow.deviantart.com/jou…

Current Residence: My room
Favourite genre of music: Anything that sounds good
Shell of choice: Seashell
Favourite cartoon character: Hatake Kakashi
Personal Quote: If you flee in fear you will die, but if you face and fight your fear, you may survive.
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:iconkillypopp:
KillyPopp Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Heyy ;o;  I just made you a little drawing since you are so amazing

killypopp.deviantart.com/art/A…
Reply
:icondesom-the-conqueror:
DeSom-The-Conqueror Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Professional General Artist
...
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
.
Reply
:iconcldl4603:
cldl4603 Featured By Owner Edited Sep 11, 2014
Where are you ;ㅁ;....
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
On/off hiatus from DA at the moment...
Reply
:iconn3zum1istak3n:
N3ZUM1ISTAK3N Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  New member Student General Artist
Your artwork is very inspiring and creative. Please never stop being the artist that you certainly are~! :heart:
Reply
:iconcldl4603:
cldl4603 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
I Love you so much! X3♥♥
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
Thank you ^^
Reply
:icondeviantyoungarter:
deviantYOUNGARTER Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Professional General Artist
but red snow is a great story .
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
lol thanks. Such an old piece 
Reply
:iconbluecorporal:
BlueCorporal Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014
hi i doodled something for u...  u_u; here happy birthday btw 
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
gosh those glaring eyes... 
Reply
:iconfritzofgermania:
FritzOfGermania Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  New member Student Artist
I love your art.

So much.
Reply
:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
Thanks for looking!
Reply
:iconfritzofgermania:
FritzOfGermania Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  New member Student Artist
That's not creepy at all!
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