When I first came to DA, I was scared that nobody would like my work
I was scared that people will think that I lack skills and am stupid or something
but as time passed, I met bunch of nice people who supported me
and felt somewhat comfortable showing my art
but everyday I visit the front page and be jealous of the fame popular deviants get

I was often angry at the popular artist because it was mostly anime and fanarts
sometimes just plain angry because I wanted to be on there

I hated really popular deviants
because they didn't answer back, they didn't return my request, and never said thank you for every comment

I thought they were greedy and snobbish people who gets drowned in their own fame, I thought they were all stupid and amateur

time passed...and it seemed like people really liked my art
and you know
I got on front page and all...and basically every time I submit flash it gets on front page, and I was quite happy.........but now it kind of worries me

I do want thousands of people to see it and enjoy it
I do want to be recognized, but what will I become?

I started to feel worried about how thousands of people out there
will think of me as a snobbish and immature popular deviant, just like how I thought and guess what, we all think commonly in some ways

I started to understand why popular deviants don't answer back often
I mean really , it's a headache giver, time consumer and just one big pain in the ass

everytime I submit, 80% of comments are plain "cool" or "kawaii"
and how the hell am I supposed to reply to that?  and I get like 200 of these
and ye, I read every single comments I get

even though I'm part of being "popular" I still can't get over with the
front page thing with getting lots of faves

I still think some don't deserve it, at all, but then again, i shouldn't be too angry over it, I guess........I know it's not their fault, mostly its the viewers' fault for
overly praising it and not looking at the depth of the work
but partially it's the artist's fault for being so consumed by easy fame

well, I think that's partially me, to be honest
but I do put lots of effort and time on the work
they may look easy to some people, but PPFFTT it takes more time than you think

to get to my point (after reading 30 paragraphs) I make a lot of polls
because I'm scared of being seen as a snobbish and immature popular deviant
I want to at least see that there are more people out there who are
aware that I'm just a normal girl and is not the stereotyped deviant

and other than being popular, I hate being stereotyped as emo or a snob
as a person. I mean there are nice people out there but some people make rude comments...and really, I hate people judging me 90% for what I draw

just because I draw a psychotic character who hurts himself doesn't mean
I'm always a dark person, and doesn't mean I'm gonna whine all the time

so I'm just saying, that's why I make many polls
I'm not trying to brag or anything, I just want to be aware of how I'm viewed
so that if anything gets very wrong, I might do something to fix it

I shall end my rant here!
thanks for reading :3