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February 11
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Ironic when a friend speaks of being heartbroken from being left behind and ignored, yet they bring the "end" in the same manner.
I guess that happens when they don't want to hear the truth and the only form of emotional satisfactory comes from being the one to leave the last laugh, to leave a trail of oneself behind and leave things open but no room to tie any knots. An alternative form of desperation to be remembered and reverse the effect of feeling insignificant. 

I felt upset and offended for a bit, then I realized that's probably the whole point; for me to acknowledge and fall for their tactics. Yet upon this realization it only proved to me that the person wasn't meant to be a friend. It only deemed my purpose of moving on from it all much more meaningful. After all, as a human being, I enjoy the sweet taste of spite. Yes, there were some bitter complications in between that made me crave for this, that I also restricted myself from proactively carrying it to prevent further, unnecessary, time consuming, energy inefficient, complications. 

I don't have to do anything directly. Initially my natural tendency to retaliate would make this frustrating, but most of the time, a neutral stance tends to result in the least amount of damage to self. It is also the best method in indirectly "retaliating" to these tactics, as they tend to be self-destructive because of it's very nature of dependence on responses. Often enough, it ends up being self-driven, fed not by my direct response, but the resulting response by the original deliverer of this tactic. 

The best part of this is that I will have a bit more peace of mind than if I had directly responded to the message. After all, this is more of an afterthought or a commentary. 
I actually ended up being able to let this go more than anything. I first said it to myself in the worst way possible, then it all started to make sense in a neutral tone.

This is probably the only positive usage for my terrible writing. I erase and rewrite a sentence so many times to get my full meanings carried out, then gradually over time as my mood stabilizes and more contents evolve into physical forms (both comprehensibly & incomprehensibly), things become slightly more settled. Mildly like a self-therapy session. With this I have better managed with impulsive messaging, which I realized over the years produce embarrassing and often irreversible results. Being impulsive is not enjoyable nor particularly something I want to associate myself with, and I feel sincerely sorry for those I heavily channel them to. These are some of the occasional cases when things sort of settle for itself. 

Well, I digressed. I must be asleep now to properly lead on life, to concentrate on things that do matter. Mostly because I am fairly tired right now and can no longer keep my attention straightforward. 
I waste enough hours on this whole ordeal, and hopefully the last of it. Now with all this, I'd like to say farewell to this friend. 

Just for record I'm going to post the response letter I wrote, but not for viewing. And the whole purpose of me telling you this is just for a sake of informing it's existence. 






Now I will vanish again. I just happened to come back to check a few things and this happened. I recently moved for a job and I have a lot to deal and fix. Hopefully things will settle soon!
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:iconrabbitibbar:
rabbitibbar Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  New member
여기다 글 쓰고 위로 받으니 좋냐 븅신아?

미래 창녀년이 존나 사람들이 혓바닥으로 햝아주니 좋다고 지랄하네 ㅋㅋ
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:iconrabbitibbar:
rabbitibbar Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  New member
미안해. 하지만 설명도 없이 그냥 그 아일 버린 너의 방식에 대해서도 문제가 있다고 생각해
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:iconrabbitibbar:
rabbitibbar Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  New member
I heard you say often about peson who left YOU to your sister.
I believe he or she will think same way about you too. an obstacle. a left behind loser.
So how about stop complaining to your sister first?
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:iconsunflowerintherain:
SunflowerInTheRain Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Been there and done it too. You did the right thing.
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:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014
I guess this is just life of relationships. 
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:iconsunflowerintherain:
SunflowerInTheRain Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Pretty much :/
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:iconcrazziikunoichii:
CrazziiKunoichii Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Friendships will indeed come and go. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. Knowing a person for a long while, putting in trust and faith only to have it thrown or torn in your face, it's a pain that can't be forgotten easily. But, alas, it will make you a better person and improve you in ways you don't realise.

Good luck in your new work and I hope for the best outcome, keep strong and know you have people miles away supporting you.
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:iconemptyshadow:
EmptyShadow Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014
The very nature of any type of relationships involve acceptance and rejection...success and failures...I think if we can embrace this concept, then we can heal a bit faster and move on with our lives. And you are right, it might feel like crap meeting & losing people, but it's all part of the learning and improvement process. 

Thank you for your good thoughts :hug:
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:iconcrazziikunoichii:
CrazziiKunoichii Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Definitely.
It's hard to take in that perspective, but it all takes time.

You're welcome :hug:
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:iconannamaetezuka:
AnnamaeTezuka Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes friendships...end. Things go sour. And if it must be brought to an end, then so it must be. Good luck and :hug:.
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