Ironic when a friend speaks of being heartbroken from being left behind and ignored, yet they bring the "end" in the same manner.
I guess that happens when they don't want to hear the truth and the only form of emotional satisfactory comes from being the one to leave the last laugh, to leave a trail of oneself behind and leave things open but no room to tie any knots. An alternative form of desperation to be remembered and reverse the effect of feeling insignificant.
I felt upset and offended for a bit, then I realized that's probably the whole point; for me to acknowledge and fall for their tactics. Yet upon this realization it only proved to me that the person wasn't meant to be a friend. It only deemed my purpose of moving on from it all much more meaningful. After all, as a human being, I enjoy the sweet taste of spite. Yes, there were some bitter complications in between that made me crave for this, that I also restricted myself from proactively carrying it to prevent further, unnecessary, time consuming, energy inefficient, complications.
I don't have to do anything directly. Initially my natural tendency to retaliate would make this frustrating, but most of the time, a neutral stance tends to result in the least amount of damage to self. It is also the best method in indirectly "retaliating" to these tactics, as they tend to be self-destructive because of it's very nature of dependence on responses. Often enough, it ends up being self-driven, fed not by my direct response, but the resulting response by the original deliverer of this tactic.
The best part of this is that I will have a bit more peace of mind than if I had directly responded to the message. After all, this is more of an afterthought or a commentary.
I actually ended up being able to let this go more than anything. I first said it to myself in the worst way possible, then it all started to make sense in a neutral tone.
This is probably the only positive usage for my terrible writing. I erase and rewrite a sentence so many times to get my full meanings carried out, then gradually over time as my mood stabilizes and more contents evolve into physical forms (both comprehensibly & incomprehensibly), things become slightly more settled. Mildly like a self-therapy session. With this I have better managed with impulsive messaging, which I realized over the years produce embarrassing and often irreversible results. Being impulsive is not enjoyable nor particularly something I want to associate myself with, and I feel sincerely sorry for those I heavily channel them to. These are some of the occasional cases when things sort of settle for itself.
Well, I digressed. I must be asleep now to properly lead on life, to concentrate on things that do matter. Mostly because I am fairly tired right now and can no longer keep my attention straightforward.
I waste enough hours on this whole ordeal, and hopefully the last of it. Now with all this, I'd like to say farewell to this friend.
Just for record I'm going to post the response letter I wrote, but not for viewing. And the whole purpose of me telling you this is just for a sake of informing it's existence.
Now I will vanish again. I just happened to come back to check a few things and this happened. I recently moved for a job and I have a lot to deal and fix. Hopefully things will settle soon!